Dashing our Expectations

So, I am going to be perfectly honest. 

Just in case any of you have {somehow} managed to place us on the Missionary Pedestal (which if you really know us I don't think that is possible...), I have a few confessions to make. I hope your expectations are not dashed; but alas, mine have been, so yours might as well be too.


I have really been looking forward to this new season for many many months now. You Stay-At-Home Moms know what I'm talking about. If you've ever seen "Groundhog Day", you can relate to the feeling of having the same day placed on Repeat over and over and over again! It has been quite the challenge to attempt making any headway toward the mission field over the last year while trying to juggle a 2yr old and infant underfoot. I thought that once my husband would be relieved of his day job, our life would be revolutionized and we would be on the Super Highway to Uganda (is there such a thing?). I'm not sure what I actually pictured our life would look like when Derek finished work and we were full-time support-raising, but I can tell you one thing- God is dashing my expectations on the rocks!  

"How so?" you ask. "Isn't it like being on an eternal vacation?"  Well, for starters...

1) I thought that with 2 parents at home, my job with the kiddos should be 1/2 as difficult (simple math, right?)- WRONG!

2) I thought that with the extra time D & I would have during the day, we would be able to communicate so much better (and not just in passing...)- WRONG!

3) I thought that with both of us working on support-raising full-time we would be twice as effective- WRONG!

4) I thought that with the extra help around the house my environment would be a whole lot less cluttered- WRONG! (I'm learning that the quicker you pick it up, the quicker it is to get messy again!)

5) I thought we would be planning our goodbye's and booking plane tickets to the field- WRONG!

#5 has really thrown me for a tailspin & definitely been the most challenge emotionally. Apparently, God has a few things He needs to teach me before we actually set foot in Bundibugyo (okay, maybe more than a few...) And so He has orchestrated some events that are going to prevent us from deploying until early Fall instead of this Summer. I won't get into the details behind our delay, but I will say this: God in His Sovereignty has a Plan that sometimes we just don't understand in real time. As I walk through the Scriptures surrounding Holy Week, I am reminded of how even by His closest friends and followers, Jesus dashed the expectations of the type of King they thought He would be. He would usher in His Kingdom, that was for sure, but He would go about it in a completely opposite manner than what anyone expected and how any king had ever done before- not by force, but by surrender. Not by the death of others, but through His own death for others.  More and more I'm realizing that if I want the Kingdom to be ushered in through my life, I must surrender some all of my own expectations and rest in the knowledge that Jesus is so much more than I give Him credit to be (and I am a whole lot less than I give myself credit to be). He's so much more than my mind can fathom, and because His ways are so much higher than my ways, I might as well give up trying to predict what today or even tomorrow holds. If nothing else, this I know for sure:

my God is Good. my God is Sovereign. my God loves Me. His Plan will prevail   

(with or without my understanding of it).  

When my expectations {of myself, of my husband, of others...} are dashed upon the rocks, I'm going to remember this and rest in the knowledge that there is one Rock that can not be dashed, and that is Jesus.  

Delighting in Him dispels all disappointment. He is our Joy & our Crown.

"...give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!" Psalm 118:1