Finding Grace in the Chaos

 

So, here it is. 

The List of things to accomplish before we leave for The Roadtrip on Monday. Do you see how many things are crossed off that list?! Um, yeah. Not many. I look at that list, as one child is screaming her head off, the other one mumbling stories to her stuffed animals in bed (while she's supposed to be sleeping), and think, "What in the world are we doing?" I just returned home from a trip to Atlanta, we're going to speak at our church's Missions Conference in a few hours, we're headed back to Atlanta tomorrow for a wedding, then dashing back home for dinner plans at someone's house, sending our kids home with my parents on Sunday, and will then have 24 hours to complete The List before leaving home for The 10-week Roadtrip. Not to mention that I feel like their are people I wanted to see before leaving, closures I wanted to have in place, "completeness" I wanted to feel as we walked out the door...

And this is my life right now. And do you know what God is saying? "You are complete in Me. What if those things don't get accomplished? What if some things are left undone? What if? What if? What if? You are complete in Me. Is that enough? Truly, is it enough? Do you trust Me enough to crumple that piece of paper, throw your kids in the car, and say We're done. Let's ride off into the sunset..."

So, that's where I'm at in the present moment. Looking intently into the face of my unlimited limitations. If you are the ones we didn't get to personally say goodbye to before leaving, I'm sorry. God is continuing to dash my expectations on the rocks (see previous post) and rebuilding me from inside out. We're moving to Uganda. There are going to be some things left undone (as I'm learning in the present circumstances...), and there are going to be expectations that are not met... and that is okay. Peace is from the Lord, and not in what I can check off my List. Amen.

Now back to soothing crying babies and singing hymns that remind me of Him.