A Tribute to My Wilderness

Jeremiah 31:2-3 

"The people who survived the sword found grace in the wilderness; when Israel sought for rest, the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore i have continued my faithfulness to you."

 

I love this verse because it talks about the beauty of the wilderness, the inner room of God's heart, the Holy of Holies. If one is to enter there, there is a high price to pay- the sword. He was wounded for my transgressions and by His stripes I am healed (Is 53:5)...yes, He took the stripping, the beating, the humiliation, the rejection on my behalf. But this act of mercy was not so that I would be removed from it in this world, released to live a blissful trial-free life as long as I trusted in Him. On the contrary, it ushers me into suffering... not so that I would be crushed by it, but rather saved through it and rescued into the infinite knowledge of knowing His sorrows and being shaped into His likeness. Rather than providing a "supernatural protection blanket" that many Christians think they have when they place their trust in Him, the Cross is about calling us TO the edge of the cliff, and yes- stepping off with the promise of finding joy in the suffering.

In the parable of the lost sheep, it is the one who was lost, despaired, in danger and in desparate need of rescuing that discovered the depths of God's love and mercy. "I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner [who knows there need for salvation] than 99 righteous persons who have no need to be saved" (Luke 15:7). So, the Good Shepherd allows me to wander and even beckons me to places that seem isolated or inhabited by wolves. Why? So that He can show His strength, His might, His passionate pursuit of me, His one lost sheep, in a way that I otherwise wouldn't discover if I stayed in the safe pasture fence.

Dear Uganda,
Thank you for being my wilderness. You have shown me my limitations, you have peeled back layers of my heart I never knew were there, you have given me more beads of sweat and tears to cry than I ever imagined possible. And you, in all your dust and ants and snakes and mystery illnesses...in your foreign tongue and even more foreign cultural practices, and in the revealing of demonic forces and battles I never knew existed...You have ushered me into the Holy of Holies, the inner room where Christ Himself dwells with the Father. In your weary land, I have sought for rest, and He has crossed the Rwenzori's of my heart to give it to me. You are my wilderness- the one in which I have found my ultimate need for Him. Your stripes have made me beautiful to Him, and your bitter He has made sweet.

And for that I am eternally grateful.
Lauren

 

This is Life.

12-1-14